I Listened

Today is one of those days I just don’t have much motivation to “do” anything.. I think it comes from knowing that tomorrow school starts for me and I know I won’t have any down time till probably after Christmas. (OH! Did I mention that my books alone cost almost $600 dollars!!!! Ahhh! That’s insane. I’m certain it did not cost that much to produce and ship those books!) Nonetheless, gonna get out and see friends, come home do some chores and then spend time with the kids with homework while I cook a scrumptious dinner.
Phil went out on a deep sea adventure today.. sure hope he has a happy one and makes his dream catch. He has been dreaming for a long time of catching that BIG ONE. He tries hard too. So, I hope it happens for him today.
Last week I managed to aligned things just right and got to go off for a good 24 hour silent retreat .. ah. Of course it wasn’t long enough but, hey, I take what I can get. Lebh Shomea House of Prayer.. just what I needed. Funny how each time I have gone I have not gotten exactly what I have wanted but I trust I have gotten what I needed. This time around I stayed in the “Big House.” It is also referred to as the Kenedy Mansion and construction of the house began in 1918.
I much prefer the simple little one person cabins but this was last minute and I was grateful just the same. Lil talks about how much she just LOVES staying in the “Big House.” So, I was looking forward to the new experience.
Time solitude with God has a way of rejuvenating me like nothing else. And in such a beautiful environment of His beautiful creation and silence practiced by all who happen to be there at the given time. I am able to hear Him so much better… imagine that… still my world of thoughts keep me quite entertained and amused at some of the silliest things…the crunch of veggies during a meal...an accidental outburst of singing and then remembering to be quiet. When it comes to not being able to sing out loud or pray out loud, that’s the hard part. Thus, I end up spending some of my time at the chapel of the Sacred Heart where I a can sing and pray out loud with no one else around… very cool. And being in this little chapel itself is amazing…just knowing how much history has taken place there with the generations of Kenedy’s and the workers who did life with them.. weddings, funeral, and countless celebrations in this quaint chapel that to this day still has much of it’s original furnishings and things.
So, what did I hear anyway? The readings on Friday morning focused on the story of Ezekiel and God restoring to life the “dead bones” of Israel and breathing His spirit of new life into the bones and fully resurrecting them. As well as, “loving the Lord God with all your heart, with all your soul and all your strength.” The latter can only happen when we have God’s spirit flowing in us. Getting to the basics of what really matters, what really counts, and what our souls really need… to be content on Christ alone and to live a life worthy of the call to serve others.
It’s so easy to get so wrapped up in “doing,” in all the other relationships around us, and in the day to day happenings that we begin to lose sight of the truth. I was asking myself where that strong longing to love others well and have mercy and compassion on the poor and needy had gone. It hadn’t left; it just needed some fresh air to get the fire raging again.
I am really at peace today knowing that I can cast every care I have on the Lord because He cares and has my best interest in mind. And I will laugh with joy when things don’t go my way because I know His way is best. AND NO, this is NOT a Pollyanna attitude.. it’s just trusting God. And no it’s not always easy but I know it is doable.
Oh ya.. and the “Big House?” Well, I think I will stick to the small cabin as I said. I don’t know.. somethin’ about staying in a huge old old mansion all alone…ya.. not so much. Thanks! :)

Listening

Nuf said.

Hitting the Brakes of Life

My mind is playing that old song by the Eagles, “Life in the Fast Lane.” But it has absolutely NOTHING to do with the lyrics of that particular song ..just the feeling of life going by sooo fast. Often I want to hit the brakes for an entire day and just journal what’s going on in life but life is on full throttle and everyone counts on me to keep it going. Ha!

The other house:
I want to give God praise for finally having mercy on us and allowing us to sell our other house in June. What a relief that has been. We really sweated owning that house for 2 ½ years!.. so on the market 3 times, 3 tenants later and much stress and upkeep…we finally sold it. Yay, yay yay!!!! Thank you JESUS! It’s a huge burden lifted off of us. Had to keep going.. no time to stop and celebrate. hahahaha

Music:
Anything Goes Band was just getting out of the garage finally and doing some gigs and it was fun. But in my heart I was not 100% in it.. my real passion is rockin’ for Jesus and worshiping Him with others through music. It’s been quite a strange mix of stuff with me and music over the past several months. Thought I might put together my own personal set list and do some coffee house gigs or restaurant gigs.. but that hasn’t quite panned out. Still singing back up for Alexis too.. but she is in Nashville songwriting for this month. I have had the honor of being asked to lead worship here and there on my own and that is always my favorite. There hasn’t seemed to be any open doors or opportunities for leading worship at our new fellowship so I have been just waiting and waiting…looking and listening. Recently, I have been invited to sing a little bit on Sunday evenings there so it does feel good to have a feeling like I am “involved” and have some part of what God is doing in the local church. ah! fun and interesting scenery on the journey..

I digress for the need to explain the complication:
Being in this “waiting room” for over 2 ½ years has caused me to question what, where, who, when and why with regards to the calling God placed on my life many years ago to pursue music ministry. I think to myself, how can I have this strong desire to lead worship through music and lead others to follow Jesus with an undivided passion, and then be placed in this holding pattern for SOOO long? I don’t want to question God because He is God…But at the same time He IS my daddy… and just like children want answers to life’s questions, this child wants to know too.. “Daddy, how come you gave me the gift of singing and playing my guitar.. then you let me experience using these gifts during several challenging years of my life as a new mommy…then you made it very clear this is what you created me for…then you pulled me out of that leadership role and now have me waiting for a very long time for the chance to use my gifts again.” (and in my human mind THIS seems to be a great time.. my kids are older and I have more time to dedicate to it)..So I am waiting and waiting and waiting.

Meanwhile, I have taken steps towards being a much better wife and mommy. But I God has wired me for taking on big challenges.. climbing that next mountain or pursuing that God size task that can only be accomplished with God size power!
So, I found out that I can get college tuition & fees paid for because of my military service.. and think, “hmmmm, perhaps I just need to go back to school and get another bachelor’s degree… what do I have to lose?”.. I figured if I tried to open the door of another career and walk through, if it wasn’t God’s plan He loves me enough to keep that door closed and locked, right? So, I’m off and running.. should I go back for a master’s in counseling? Should I pursue nursing? These are a couple of fields that have crossed my mind since graduating with my BA in communication years ago. So, I prayed about it and determined that nursing it is…After all, if I become a nurse I will then have a skill I can take onto the mission field and it’s also a career that seems will still allow me to pursue the music ministry...

So I, received acceptance at TX A&M University CC and jumped right into ……….C H E M I S T R Y!!!!! A 5 week summer session no less.. I DO NOT RECOMMEND squeezing 4 months of chemistry into 5 WEEKS of summer! Not to mention I went ahead and took the lab too. So, I’m going along.. things are workin’ out.. I’m amazed that there were no hitches! It was by no means a breeze! And then to top it off, I had to deal with my mother-in-laws illness and death towards the very last week of classes and finals. But by God’s amazing grace and my loving friends, I survived it.. even passed my Chem. Lecture with a B and Chem. Lab with a surprising A!!!
Now I am on break.. Fall semester will begin next Wed. I am registered for 11 credit hours.. A & P I, Microbiology, a lab for each of those and a History class. And I can drop it all in a sec. if I need to… would that be like stopping and emptying out the trunk?

Last night I had a some soul searching.. 1) My passion in life is worship through music and leading worship in a full time or part-time capacity (whether with my own band or the local church). 2) Pursuing nursing is only second to number one. 3) So, why am I not pursuing more education in the one I love most? 4) Am I pleasing God or man? ... studying the guages on the dash..

Daddy, God, I don’t understand your ways.. You are God and I am not. I am thankful for all you have done and are doing in my life. Did you put me in time out for something I did? Are you simply testing my faith? Well, whatever it is, I have no choice but to wait on YOU…I am yours so have YOUR way sweet Jesus!

“My thoughts are nothing like your thoughts,” says the Lord. “And my ways are far beyond anything you could imagine. For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so my ways are higher than your ways and my thoughts higher than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8,9


I’m going to hit the brakes, pull off the “fast lane,” and park for one day of dedicated prayer. Life is too short.. I want the peace of knowing I am in the center of God’s will...He is first!

Remembering Phil's Mom, Eileen Rice October. 9, 1932 - August 3, 2010

Seventeen years ago, I sat in a room filled with beautiful woman throwing a bridal shower for me here in Corpus Christi… here out on the island to be exact. Eileen was living in California and planning to come to our wedding but she couldn’t come to my bridal shower. I was so surprised to be handed a gift that she Eileen had shipped to my friends to give me…she had taken time to prepare a photo album filled with pictures of her son, Philip from birth till he left home. I was so touched. She made a great impression on me, her future daughter to be. But even more than that she knew how to express love and embrace me as her own daughter…the daughter she never had.
Ten years ago, we moved her here to Corpus Christi. It was a hard time on her having to hand over a few of her independences for her own sake. I took on the full responsibility of ensuring her needs were taken care of and that all of her affairs were in order. I can honestly say that I was not overjoyed with this new responsibility at the time and our first baby on the way. I embraced her nonetheless.
Over time she grew to trust me more and more and began to see that I genuinely cared for her and loved her. The trust she had in me was such an honor. Over the years we grew to have a very special relationship. She enjoyed being a part of our growing family and one by one each grandchild had a very special place in her heart. She loves each them so much. Her face lit up with joy upon seeing me and the kids showing up for visits. She was so proud of us and quick to share with everyone these were her grandkids I was her daughter. I loved watching how she interacted with Lindsey, Brooke and Chase. She loved chatting with them, telling stories and making them laugh. She was always a kid at heart herself…from the love she had for animals (whether real or stuffed toys) to the love she had for sweets.
She kept a positive attitude and always made people feel right at home with her charm and knack for conversation. She was quite the conversationalist. I was so blessed that she understood my sense of humor and played off of it with me. Even during the difficult and challenging times she managed to crack a joke or say something to make you smile.
Eileen and I shared a very special relationship with one another. But most importantly we shared a relationship with Christ. Nothing brought her more comfort than to read the bible and devotionals, pray together and sing songs about the love of Jesus. I have a peace knowing that she no longer has to endure the pain of this world but now dances with joy in the arms of Christ. And that sweet dimpled smile and sparkle in her eye shines more than ever for eternity. I love you, Eileen. Thank you for the honor of being your only daughter and thank you for loving me. I will miss you more than you can imagine. Enjoy your celebration in heaven my sweet mom, friend and sister in Christ. One day I will see you again and we will have many laughs together once more and share the joy of the Lord together forever! I love you Mom!
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Eileen Carol Rice, 77, went to be with her heavenly father August 3, 2010. Eileen was born in Sioux Falls, South Dakota on October 9, 1932 to Donald and Ruth Rice. She graduated from Washington High School in Sioux Falls, South Dakota. Eileen was baptized and confirmed in the Lutheran faith in which she was very active. She later became very active with the Crystal Cathedral Ministry in Garden Grove California. Eileen was married to Ernest Sylvester Madland from 1960 to 1975 and worked as a secretary for most of her life. Besides working for various churches over the years, she worked for companies such as John Morrell & Co. and Auto Club of Southern Calif. However, Eileen spent most of her career working for the University of California at Irvine in the Microbiology Department from 1975 through the mid-1990’s. Eileen maintained a great sense of humor and loved to have fun. She enjoyed people and had many good close friends. She enjoyed traveling, reading, music, television, movies, sports and cooking but mostly she enjoyed taking part in church related activities and serving others whenever she could. Eileen spent her past 10 years living in Corpus Christi, TX. Eileen was the mother of two sons, Thomas Jay North (48) currently of San Antonio, TX and Philip Lee Madland (47) of Corpus Christi, TX. She had one daughter-in-law, Anna (Sylvia) Madland and three grandchildren, Lindsey, Brooke and Chase Madland all of Corpus Christi. Eileen was preceded in death by her parents, one brother, and one sister.